Aah parenting. Isn’t it a joy? I love being a mum to my twins, and I like to think I’m a pretty good one. However, here are 5 reasons I’m a pretty bad mum to be fair (& why this actually makes me a good mum).
Bad Mum Reason 1
I don’t share any of my sweet treats with my kids. In fact I go out of my way to ensure they NEVER find out about them. I love sweet treats, and sweet treats love me. I don’t feel there is enough justification to share this love with my kids. I’m basically ‘Totally Selfish Mum’.
— Rebecca Webb (@ImBecWebb) June 27, 2017
Why is this good? Uh, hello! I’m looking after their teeth! They’ll thank me in the long run.
Bad Mum Reason 2
I hate peeling oranges and anything within the orange family. I actually detest doing it. So when my kids ask me for an orange, I will either tell them to go ask their dad, or if he’s not here then I crack open a tin of mandarins.
Yes, I give my children a tinned fruit. So what? Same it is.
Why is this good? Ummmm. I want to say something to do with saving food waste and teaching them about frugality.
Bad Mum Reason 3
When they were younger, if they seemed bored of their toys, I gave them alternative toys to play with…
Yes, I assigned them new roles within the family, as Refuse Workers.
Much fun was had by all. Especially me, looking on with a hot cup of coffee and a smile on my face.
Disclaimer: Only plastic recycling was sorted. No glass or tins.
Why is this good? Early work experience… Learning about recycling… This fun task has multiple good points I’m sure…
Bad Mum Reason 4
In a bid to avoid being asked repeatedly for a Thomas The Tank Engine hat, or Fireman Sam wellies etc (you know the sort of crap, your kid’s wearing them right now!) I went out of my way to ensure that they never clapped eyes on those types of characters on TV for the first two years of their lives! Maybe even longer!
Yes, my life was blissfully free of these hideous clothes and accessories. It still is! They do now know (kind of) what these TV shows are, but they don’t care enough about them to want to emblazen their bodies with every article and accessory available. Thank god!
Now if I can just avoid the Paw Patrol stuff….
Why is this good? Alright, alright. Perhaps it’s a bit mean – but this is all about being good for me!
Bad Mum Reason 5
I remember when I was a kid, hounding my mum & dad for ice cream whenever I heard the jovial tune of Alan coming up the road. So when my twins first asked what that noise was, I told them the first thing that came to my head…
“Boys”, I said, “that is the local mobile radio. They drive around and play music for the people who can’t afford radios in their homes”. They accepted my answer. And to this day they happily exclaim “THE RADIO!!” whenever they hear the jingle. Although, when they recently did it in public I did start to question my methods…
Why is this good? Again, their teeth duh!
So, to round up – I’m a bad mother. But for all the right reasons (mostly).
Now, I’m thinking I should team up with a dentist and do some paid promo work…